I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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