why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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