Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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Happy Monday!

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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