How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a person and one is a pizza.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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A man was caught cross dressing by his wife. She divorced him.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops