Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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nothing

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Justin beiber's penis

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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