Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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( . Y . )

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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