Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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nothing

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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