Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops