What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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a skinny sumo wrestler

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Hi

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What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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