What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops