When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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