How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's stupid a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops