How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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your mom.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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UN

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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