Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops