Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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