How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Why was the giant scorpion sad? Because the Holocaust killed his entire family.

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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The GOV and the WHO?

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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