How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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