Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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4 Jews are killed during a car accident, the whole city mourns over there death and create a plaque in their honor.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops