What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops