5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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