Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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a blond girl walks into a bar

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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What do I hate? people

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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(Insert joke here)

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops