What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

womens rights

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

Dead girls can't say no.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

Who is Dank? A: Billal

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...