What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Womens rights

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops