What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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it was all Tagart

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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