your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Caroline Kelly.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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