what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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Maths.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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