What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

What is funnier than 24 69

Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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