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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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HELLO EVERYONE

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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How old are you? 7

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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