Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops