News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops