What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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