Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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SHUT UP JP

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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