Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

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roses are red poo is poo

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Walnut

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops