A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops