"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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