Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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Chlamydia

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Mooses

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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