Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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I like school Said no one ever.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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