As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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general tso's broccoli

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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fava beans

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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