Global Warming.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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France never surrender.

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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