What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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I can't see my forehead

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...Jack Vale

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Carlton

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Rick Perry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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