Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Rick Perry.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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your fat

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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