Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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And you honored it I see :P

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops