Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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