What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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