- Anti Joke

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

Knock knock Get off my porch homo

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

cancer

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly