whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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american idol

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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