Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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