when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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