whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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