A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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