How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

Know what's funny? Jokes.

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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